If you are a crossdresser, and have been dabbling with wearing bras, panties, and wearing skirts around the privacy of your home, you have probably entertained the thought of actually stepping out into the world dressed en femme. In fact, you've probably pondered on it many times and played out fantasies in your head as to who might see you, what you'd be wearing and what might play out after an exciting evening as woman!
When you think about going out crossdressed, your heart probably races, and a bead of sweat drips down your forehead in the anticipation. It's likened to getting on a very scary roller coaster ride. It's exciting and terrifying to think of stepping out into the real world dressed as a woman, but many crossdressers feel compelled to do it - an overwhelming urge to show everyone who they really are - a fabulous, beautiful woman!
Perhaps you have the wardrobe - you've shopped for months and have bought the silk stockings, the sexy little black dress and have been perfecting your make-up. You have walked countless times across your floor in those sharp stiletto heels, and now you're walking oh so sexy. You've even grown out the hair on your head, or dished out some major bucks on a quality wig with luscious locks. So now what? Where do you go?
If you are lucky enough to live in a metropolitan area like Las Vegas or New York City, you can go, without the fear of being recognized by others, to a club where other like-minded crossdressers' hang out. Get out the telephone book, or do an internet search on clubs that would be accepting of the lifestyle in your area. Especially, if you are doing this alone and for the first time, you will feel more comfortable being in the company of other transgenders.
If you live in a small town where everyone knows you, and you worry about anonymity, you can travel out of town for business or even pleasure where you can start to practice getting used to the feeling of going out en femme. When you are out of your surroundings, you need not worry about being recognized if that is your reason for not going out in your hometown. However, be careful, and make sure you are going to establishments that are transgender friendly, or open to crossdressing.
If you are fortunate to have another crossdressing friend, or a friend who is open-minded to your lifestyle - bring her along and go to places where you are comfortable - the movie theatre, a restaurant or go dancing at a club. It's better when you can share your experience instead of doing it alone. She can also aide you in what to wear out!
If you are going out for the first time - have a cell phone with important contacts programmed in, cash, credit card, lipstick, a powder compact to powder that shiny nose, ID or driver's license and your car insurance. If you get yourself in a situation such as getting pulled over, or your car breaks down - you will still be able to handle yourself, even if you are in a sexy dress.
You're looking hot in that short skirt number, and you've finally made it to the bar, or whatever destination you've chosen! You are out for the first time, and other eyes are on you. Don't panic! Take a deep breath and be confident. Thoughts like fear or that you are not acceptable are more than likely just that - thoughts. It doesn't mean everyone around you is thinking negatively of you. Instead, smile and make conversation with those who are open to it and have a good time. Try not to worry about whether you are too tall, or if you are passable or not, or if you're not walking right in those four- inch high heel shoes. Your personality is what will win others over. If you are at a bar, go over and strike up a conversation with the bartender, even if you are ordering a drink. Or, if you are shopping, speak with the sales lady - they are all there to assist you.
You've spent some time around other crossdressers, or transgenders and you're comparing yourself to them in the clubs or on the street. Perhaps one transgender looks more 'passable' in ways that you are not. Don't worry! Every crossdresser or transgendered girl has her very own beauty - perhaps your legs are long and sexy, or you have full lips where others fall short. Even women have positive and negative attributes, and it's important to focus on the beautiful features of yourself. You may not be 100% passable, but that's okay, if you spend time around other crossdressers, most won't care and will be able to give you tips on how to be more feminine. Remember - being feminine is more a state of mind and the rest follows thereafter. Most of us, including women, have to learn behaviors in life, such as walking and even talking. Even if you do not have a feminine voice - it doesn't matter - be yourself as much as you can. More feminine qualities will come out when it is time.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with you if you have not built up the courage to go out in women's clothes. It's not a necessity for you to go out, but if that's what you really want in your heart of hearts, building up the confidence to do so takes time. Just as an actress loves the thought of going on stage to perform, she might have anxiety and stage fright and it inhibits her from living out her dream. Same goes with crossdressers. Continue to go shopping for women's clothes, practice your make-up techniques, your walk and your attitude - and talk with the Mistresses at FemPhone - Feminization Sessions. Many will guide you and lend a ear for girl talk, and others offer hypnosis to help you in your goal of getting over your crossdressing fears.
Good luck in your crossdressing goals!
By Ms Cecilia of Femphone.com